Women are being held back by sticking with irresponsible men

 

The term 'ride or die' which comes from Hip-Hop has gone on to become a part of our urban dictionary.

Ride or die is usually is the term given to a woman who is willing to be with her man during his rough and trying times. A woman who is willing to stick with her man who is into illegal activities or self-destructive behaviour such as drugs. A woman who has been with a man who has hasn't been able to get his stuff together.

Pain and long-suffering, these are two of the traits of ride or die women which have been glamorized by the media. A ride or die chick is expected to be with a man irrespective of how foolish and immature some of his actions are.

On October 17, 2017, US rapper Gucci Mane married his sweetheart  Keyshia Ka’oir. It was a glamorous Hip-Hop affair of fairy tale proportions. On social media, many were quick to praise Keyshia as a ride or die chick for sticking with Gucci Mane all through his drug and legal issues.

Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka’oir are married.
(Instagram/ Keyshia Ka’oir)

In this point of thinking, a woman who sticks with her man in his wild days is going to reap the fruit of her labour. At the end of being faithful, she would get the ring, the house and the kids. The ride or die narrative gives offers the men luxury to find 'themselves' in their later years. During this period it is expected that his woman stands by him.

A lot of women are no longer subscribing to this philosophy. Some of the tweets below show that women believe the ride or die narrative isn't sustainable.

For one, it is terribly one-sided. A woman is expected to stay with a man who can't get his ish together but the same does not apply when the tables are turned. It is very sexist and promotes the culture of emotional abuse that women go through in relationships.

The ride or die culture might have been the bomb back then but in this new generation of equality and wokeness, it is not happening. Gucci Mane is one of the few men who could get his life back together. I bet if he continued messing up, Keyshia Ka’oir would have eventually left him.

Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka'Oir attend the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards

"The “ride or die” trope perpetuates male entitlement and often times our society accept men who lie, cheat, and manipulate women they are romantically or sexually involved with. Women are rewarded for staying faithful in monogamy no matter how unequally yoked. Love that is nonreciprocal kills us slowly in its grip" writes Brittney Maddox for We Are Your Voice Mag.

This nails the problem on the spot. While women are expected to be faithful and loyal, men have the liberty to be unfaithful and irresponsible. The ride or die belief is just another way of suppressing women in relationships.

The ride or die culture excludes women who hold down men who are hardworking and haven't gotten to the peak of their careers. There is nothing wrong standing beside a man who is faithful and hardworking but doesn't have money yet.

Apart from this, the ride or die mentality is slave mentality. Pure and simple.